Rather than a Hymn Collection of other people’s posts, I’m going to use this final Sunday of the year to look back on 2009 here at the Spirits of Eden. I’ll look at both the top posts stats-wise and my favorite posts I made, as well as some of the history of the blog. With that, let’s get going on the final Hymn Collection of the year.

My very first posts on the blog were from December 3 2008, and they were carry-overs from an old blog, the contents of which have now been made Private. I started blogging mostly satirical or sarcastic reviews of games, sprinkled with some D&D stuff here and there. My old posting style was a headache to me, so I did away with it some time after starting The Spirits of Eden to focus on RPG blogging. This all means though, that on December 3rd, this blog was officially one year old! I did not celebrate it because I forgot about it. Looking at the stats, traffic has steadily increased. At the start of the year, I was lucky to get 50 hits a day. Now I average 200 a day, which means by traffic has quadrupled in the year. That makes me happy.

WordPress tells me I have like 107 comments subscriptions but no blog subscriptions. I have no idea what that means. Comments are still elusive as ever. I once read that to get comments on your blog you have to post something controversial. I guess that’s true. Helpful posts of mine tend to get less comments than controversial ones. I guess I can’t complain, though I would like to get more comments. Comments brighten my day, for the most part.

Traffic decreases heavily in the holidays, which is no surprise.

The Top 10 posts on the blog according to stats for the year 2009 are:

It’s no surprise that the Google Wave post is the most popular, and it makes up about 1/6th of the traffic I’ve gotten this year. I’m happy to see Spirits of Eden in the top 3 as well as my houserules, both of which are things I put a lot more work into than the Google Wave article! It’s funny to see the first two of the Monster Manual 2 posts there (part 6 is coming this week). I created a category just for those posts so people could read them all easier. One humorous thing is that Part 2 has done so much better than Part 1, probably because of my controversial opinion about Demogorgon being a horribly boring thing to fight since it’s a big blob of hit points and action denial. My post about Pixiv Fantasia somehow made the top 10, probably because of Google searches. Thanks to WOTC, my Top 10 D&D monsters post also got a lot of fanfare.

Some of my personal favorite posts of the year that did not make this list:

•Character Archetype Terms You Never Hear: This one was so close to making it into the top 10, but it didn’t. I like to imagine any game I play as an anime or manga because those are the storytelling media which excite me most. Things like tsundere and such are common parlance in anime circles you wouldn’t hear from average RPG gamers. Me and my group always fun around with these terms, so it was rather humorous writing about them and trying to apply them to games. This one got 560 views.

•The Clouded Palace Part 1: Ramuan: This post was extremely fun to do (and part 2 is coming soon). It’s basically a detailed adventure outline, sans statistics, for the first part an adventure set in the Spirits of Eden campaign setting. I usually don’t like writing adventures because it’s really time consuming. The worries of enemy stats, map-making, making sure you give enough XP and loot, etc distract me from writing a good story and coming up with interesting characters, hooks and events to fill out the adventure. But something like this post is loads of fun to do. You give a DM just enough of a framework and characters and locations so they can provide what you don’t (or couldn’t, in the case of me and maps). This was a lot of fun to write, and it even got some comments, but it was mostly ignored traffic-wise, only 130 views, mostly because for 4e, the emphasis is on fights, fights, fights with modules, and something that doesn’t have fights and stats probably isn’t a lot of use.

•Wow There’s A Lot Of 3.5 Stuff In 4e: This post was fun and informative. For all you people still playing 3.5 who want it to look more like 4e (and this is a subject that still comes up a lot) you should look to your own system for how to do it. Practically everything that makes 4e what it is began in D&D 3.5 in some way. Read the article, notice the similarities and chuckle. This one got 192 views, which is a pretty decent showing for something like this, probably because people jumped in thinking about editions wars and controversy.

•30 Cultural Quirks In The Spirits of Eden: The name says it all. These were really fun to write because they let me enter the mindset of a person in this fantasy world of my creation, the Spirits of Eden. They can serve as good roleplay quirks for characters to take that add a bit more authenticity to the game. I’m going to try to work on another one. This one got 84 views. I’m not exactly sad about it, because fluffy articles tend to be the ones that do worst even if they’re the most fun for me.

•10 Things You Must Know About Spirits of Eden: This article is the only time I feel I have been able to readily summarize everything important about the setting in one place. It is a miracle I managed to finish it, and how well it turned out. This one got 101 views. Again, fluffy articles are my favorites, but few people care about them.

Gearing up for the new year, I’m doing a project I’m excited about to write a little RPG for my own use (though I’ll share it with you once it’s in a more usable state) tentatively called Not Another Acronym D6 (NAA D6), written and tweaked to my own tastes. I’m also going to do more 4e things, more Spirits of Eden things and more humor. I hope you enjoyed this year at the Spirits of Eden, and I hope I can continue to be useful, entertaining and relevant to you in the new year. 2

A late Merry Christmas to everyone. This one isn’t Christmas-themed, but it is more expanded than normal. This time I wrote four companions rather than two, to make up for being unable to do the serial last week. The theme of this article is animal companions. The good thing about them is that the social roleplay aspect is greatly reduced for an animal or beast NPC companion. The beastmaster Ranger already has ways of getting an animal friend, but this is for all those others who don’t.

Since these are animals, they don’t have language, secrets, motives or any of that. They do have specific behaviors which you can pretty easily tell from their stat blocks. The Companion rules have a few booboos which prevented some of my ideas. For example, I wanted to have a Bird of Paradise as a leader, that used its radiant beauty to inspire allies. But birds fly, and companions shouldn’t fly. So I made instead a Wolf that once served as a pack leader, so it can assist and inspire its new humanoid PC allies. I also made two snakes because a reader gave me a really good idea later which inspired the second snake.

Still, I’m very happy with this current crop and I hope you will be too!

Wolf Pack Leader Level 2 Leader
Medium Natural Beast XP -
Initiative +5; Perception +7; Low-Light Vision
HP 30; Bloodied 15; Surges 9
AC 17; Fortitude 13, Reflex 14, Will 14
Speed 7
[MB] Bite (Standard; AW)
+6 vs AC; 1d6+6 damage. The next ally to attack the target before the end of the Wolf’s next turn has a +2 power bonus to its damage roll.
[M] Off-Balance (Standard; Encounter)
+6 vs AC; 1d8+6 damage and the target has a -2 penalty to AC. The next time before the end of the Wolf’s next turn that an ally attacks the target with a melee encounter attack power, that power is not expended if the ally misses.
[C] Howl of Courage (Standard; Encounter*)
Special: The Wolf can use this power twice per encounter.
Close Burst 5; One ally in burst; the target can spend a healing surge and gains a +1 power bonus to attack rolls until the end of the Wolf’s next turn.
Unaligned; Languages –
Skills: Athletics +6, Perception +7
Str 12 (+2) Dex 18 (+5) Wis 13 (+2)
Con 13 (+2) Int 5 (-2) Cha 14 (+3)

Quickbiting Viper Level 5 Striker
Medium Natural Beast (Reptile) XP -
Initiative +6; Perception +7; Low-Light Vision
HP 46; Bloodied 23; Surges 8
AC 19; Fortitude 16, Reflex 18, Will 16
Resist 10 Poison
Speed 5, Climb 3
[MB] Bite (Standard; AW) @Poison
+9 vs AC; 1d6+6 damage. If the target is adjacent to the Viper at the start of the Viper’s next turn, it takes 5 poison damage.
[M] Constrict (Standard; Encounter)
+9 vs Fortitude; 2d6+6 damage and the target is immobilized until the end of the Viper’s next turn.
[S] Combat Advantage
Once per round, The Viper deals 1d6 extra damage when it hits an enemy it has combat advantage against.
Unaligned; Languages –
Skills: Athletics +8, Perception +7
Str 12 (+3) Dex 18 (+6) Wis 10 (+2)
Con 14 (+4) Int 2 (-2) Cha 13 (+3)

Stalwart Bear Level 8 Defender
Medium Natural Beast XP -
Initiative +5; Perception +6; Low-Light Vision
HP 68; Bloodied 34
AC 23; Fortitude 21, Reflex 17, Will 18
Speed 6
[MB] Claw (Standard; AW)
+12 vs AC; 1d8+8 damage.
Effect: The target is marked until the end of the Bear’s next turn.
[M] Bite (Standard; AW)
+12 vs AC; 1d6+8 damage and the Bear slides the target 1 square to another square adjacent to the Bear.
[S] Guardian
Once per round if an enemy violates a Mark with an attack that doesn’t include the Bear while the Bear is adjacent, the Bear can knock it prone as a free action.
Unaligned; Languages –
Skills: Intimidate +10
Str 18 (+8) Dex 13 (+5) Wis 14 (+6)
Con 11 (+4) Int 5 (+1) 12 (+5)

Slithering Snake Level 12 Controller
Medium Natural Beast (Reptile) XP –
Initiative +9; Perception +8; Low-Light Vision
HP 68; Bloodied 34; Surges 8
AC 25; Fortitude 23, Reflex 24, Will 27
Speed 6
[M] Bite (Standard; AW)
+16 vs AC; 1d8+9 damage and the target takes a -2 penalty to attack rolls until the end of the Snake’s next turn.
[C] Poisonous Spit (Standard; AW) @Poison
Close Blast 3; +16 vs Fortitude; 1d8+9 damage and the target is slowed until the end of the Snake’s next turn.
[C] Slithering Constrict (Standard; Encounter)
The Snake shifts 6 squares, and it can shift through enemy squares during this movement, but must end the movement in an unoccupied square. It then makes a Close Burst 1 attack against enemies only; +16 vs AC; 2d10+9 damage and the target is immobilized and grants combat advantage to all of its enemies until the end of the Snake’s turn. While the target is immobilized, the Snake is also immobilized.
[S] Controller Extension (Free Action; Encounter)
The Snake can extend an effect on an enemy to end at the end of its next turn, rather than during its current turn.
Unaligned; Language –
Skills: Athletics +14
Str 16 (+9) Dex 16 (+9) Wis 14 (+8)
Con 14 (+8) Int 5 (+3) Cha 12 (+7)

With the holiday festivities in full swing and my starting to work on a homebrew RPG project (working name: N.A.A D6), it’s been a happy but busy week. I finished this quarter with my final exam last Thursday, and I believe I’ve done quite well this term. So I can finally rest easy for the 16 or so days of vacation time I have right now. Let’s recap the week’s worth of my favorite 4e posts!

•Dungeon’s Master has a post on what your PC’s do for fun. Anything that fleshes out PCs in D&D 4e is cool in my book, because it’s often easy to fall into a trap of thinking of the game as just a bunch of fights and that anything which isn’t one is time wasted, but a little time off from fighting and encounters gives players and the DM oxygen. I appreciate this, even though a lot of gamers don’t seem to like anything that’d “slow the game down.” I’ve gone through a long phase right now in my game where it’s been what normally referred to as down time. But I’ve had some mystery, plot revelations, character development and skill checks done in that time. In fact, I think my PCs haven’t thought hard enough, or displayed, what their characters “do for fun” as Dungeon Mastering asks. Though they haven’t had a lot of time for it (my fault)! But maybe I should press them to think about this for the future.

•Sly Flourish has a nice article on the Shadow Dragon that prompted me to take a second look at it myself. I tended to ignore monsters in modules mostly due to my dislike of the module itself but in the case of the Shadow Dragon I find it a rather interesting guy. Sly Flourish has some nice tips for making the Shadow Dragon stand on its own feet as a difficult fight, and for pairing it with a few monsters. The addition of the Soulravager for example is downright sinister.

Wow um, that was short! Yeah, I didn’t read anything else that caught my eye as something I’d direct people to as a must-read for the week for D&D 4e. In any event, I’ll use this space to air a small explanation. Yesterday I was surprised with doing some intensive labor clearing out a large shed which was wall to wall stacked with junk. Though I wasn’t the only person there, there was so much raff to move hither and yon that I was utterly burnt out and couldn’t deliver the 4e Companion PCs article as promised. I’m still burnt out today, so there won’t be one right now. I’ll make an extra-long one for tuesday or wednesday. The theme this week will be companion animals/magical beasts. If you’d like to see a specific animal or beast companion drop a line!

I wanted to take some time to make a small post about my readers and how I am thankful for their support of my sometimes abrasive self. Finding myself this christmas with little money with which to give gifts, I checked my donations to find that I’d accumulated a nice sum over the past six months with which I can now buy my sisters something special. I sometimes wonder what to do with this money, and it always feels somewhat selfish to use the donations despite people willingly giving them to me, but in this instance there’s no apprehension. They’re still at the age where a Christmas present every year is something special and expected and it’s all thanks to you that I am able to give them to something to show that I care. I’m not going to win brother of the year, not even close, so being able to do at least this for them is something I’m really happy about.

And it’s all thanks to the readers who’ve donated little by little over the course of these months to help “Support The Blog” as it were. The blog might not need much supporting, but the person behind it really appreciates every single piece of yourselves that you deposit not only in that account, but on the comments and in forums and on twitter, and all around the net, in aid and support of my ideas. I want to try very hard this coming year to keep giving back to all of you who’ve given me so much. I want to keep giving you more humor, more RPGs and more useful pieces of my own mind in exchange for what you keep giving back.

Thanks to the readers – because without you, there would not be a Spirits of Eden.

Let the mockery begin. I’m a 21-year-old college student who read and enjoyed Kampfer. This should not come as much of a surprise given I enjoyed other manga series like Needless which really do nothing to change the typical contrivances of anime and manga, except Needless was a deliberate parody of those concepts done very well in its own right. Kampfer is…kampfer.

Absurdly Long Intro

Kampfer is a japanese light novel series, but I only read the manga, partly because it’s all I got. I also have the anime, but let’s face it, the probability of this thing’s anime being any better an experience than the manga is zero. I can already see the exaggerated breast physics on the wall. Perhaps because I took some of my funny pills before writing this. Hey what the hell is Bono doing in the middle of a forest in Florida. There’s no poor native folk to save in this area Bono. Only me. Let’s read Kampfer together Bono. I’m sure both of us stand to learn something from this partnership.

Kampfer is kind of a magical girl manga except it isn’t. We’ll get to that in a second, but first, let’s talk a little about how I got into Kampfer in the first place so that you can traverse this emotional rollercoaster with me. I first noticed Kampfer from browsing 4chan and finding pictures of the anime, mostly pictures of the protagonist Natsuru. I thought she looked cute and I wasn’t reading anything so I thought I’d pick up the manga. This is usually how I figure out what sorts of media to consume. If it has something cute in it, I’m probably going for that one first. It keeps me from reading Naruto or Bleach for a while.

So I look at the cover of the first volume and I’m hooked already:

Spunky-looking cute blue-haired female protagonist? Check. Does anything else need checking? Not really. So then I go look at wikipedia, because that’s the next step in my progress. First I see something cute; then I go to wikipedia to see if it has some redeeming value that I can use to lord over my intellectual inferiors as an outstanding creation of a culture which they do not understand nor partake in. You don’t even have to try to figure out if Kampfer fits into that last one.

I’m a guiltless man more or less. I find the idea of having guilty pleasures pretty stupid. If I like something, it’s probably on my list of stuff I like in Wizbook. Or I forgot to put it in there. But I’ll remember sometime and I’ll put there. If I used Facebook more than once a year whenever somebody sent me some stupid, ridiculous, inane app like “PET SHOP WEREWOLF FACTORY WARS” that they expect me to install so they can get bonus points, I’d probably stick a list of things I like there too.

Kampfer would be in it. But back to the process of my mind. So I go to wikipedia, and I read the Kampfer article–

MOTHERFUCKERS.

But that isn’t enough to deter me folks. If it were, I would not be an anime fan. I would probably be doing community service, and going to church and unironically watching Fox News. I would be doing things that are good for my community out of a sense of love and duty to man kind, and for the betterment of the entire world, and for my lord Jesus Christ.

Ha ha ha I’d rather have Kampfer.

Genderswap Psionicism

One night, Natsuru Seno has a rather strange dream of himself as a beautiful naked girl flying in a glowing pastel colored background. I’ve had that dream sometimes too, except in mine, I was a vampire as well, a tall, dark and bishojo lesbian vampire who brooded over a young high school girl with no redeeming features whatsoever. Natsuru is told that he has been given a power, as one who exists to fight – a Kampfer. Because otherwise, there wouldn’t be a story. I guess.

Natsuro wakes up and immediately gropes himself, because that’s how you tell whether you’ve really been turned into a girl, or if your friends from school have devised some puerile prank with a cost far outweighing its humor value. He also conveniently has a girl’s uniform in this form complete with panties, because psychic powers come with fabulous fashion. Just ask Lelouch from Code Geass! There’s also a talking stuffed animal ogling him, and because he’s an idiot, his first reaction is to get angry and throw it in the garbage. The animal tells Natsuru that he has incredible talent and was chosen to be a kampfer and that kampfers must be girls, so he got turned into a girl by the magical bracelet in his arm.

When it glows, he becomes a girl and his prodigious power can be wielded against…who knows. The teddy bear neglects to mention what exactly Natsuru is supposed to fight, which would probably have helped him to come to terms with the fact that he has superpowers a little easier. After much bickering and Natsuru crying that he can’t go back to school the way he is, the animal agrees to turn Natsuru back by falcon punching him in the gut and knocking him out cold. Our protagonist, folks!

Man, if only D&D 4e Psionics involved transgenderism instead of this bullcrap augmenting mechanic that cheats you out of your 21st level at-will damage bump. And if only the Ardent wasn’t so bland and uninteresting.

Natsuru goes to school and along the way runs into the “popular girl that everyone likes and who I think is out of my reach but actually totally digs me” Sakura Kaede. Who manages to have a far less interesting character design than girl-Natsuru. It turns out Sakura was the one who sent her the stuffed animal, but Natsuru doesn’t connect that to the thing talking and casting Reverse Gender on him at all. Then Natsuru’s bracelet shines and a girl appears out of nowhere and points a gun at Natsuru’s head. Natsuru thinks it’s a robbery, but the girl counters that she’s too hot to be a robber. I can agree with this logic.

I Squeeze Gats Till My Clip is Empty

The girl’s name is Akane, and she has to fight Natsuru, much like Natsuru has to fight something because a teddy bear with an eyepatch told him to. If only I could have my life decisions backed by animated stuffed animals. I need the guiding light of a satanic toy to validate the path I have chosen for my life. Akane is about to kill Natsuru because, and Sakura for being around, but then Natsuru’s bracelet pulls him away at the last second and saves him from being shot.

Then it turns him into a naked girl again in a quick transformation sequence. Since it’s not Akane’s turn she can only watch as Natsuru casts his buffs. He is furnished with clothes at the end of it, and dodges Akane’s next shot at nearly point blank range before noticing that she has a kampfer bracelet too. Natsuru screams emotionally, questioning why they have to fight, to which Akane points out that Kampfers’ enemies are other kampfers and that she is going to kill him for the lulz.

Natsuru dodges another volley of shots and then gets distracted by Sakura being around to see him with boobs, which then prompts Akane to squeeze some mo’fuckin’ gats.

Akane, here’s to you.

This is around the time Natsuru remembers the sage words of the Teddy bear that, since he’s a Kampfer, he has powers that he can fight with. I know how you feel Natsuru, sometimes when I play RPGs that aren’t 4e I forget I have powers too, because they’re not on little cards I can flick across the table at the DM. Then we cut to the teddy bear talking to himself, and then to another attractive young lady. The teddy bear reaffirms that Kampfers are all about fighting and that Natsuru will know who to fight. Just like 4e characters, who can’t target things that aren’t enemies with their enemy powers!

Man, the parallels continue!

When we return to Natsuru he’s blown a small crater into a nearby wall next to Akane, then we get a two-pager to dispel all prior subtlety and show us that yes, Natsuru-chan is the one who shot the wall and protected Sakura from imminent demise. It appears that Natsuru can shoot fireballs or something, so he’s actually not a Psion, but a re-skinned Sorcerer (girl Natsuru has to be charisma-powered). Akane says a german word and something about not using an item and how Natsuru is pretty skilled, then is even more determined to cheese-grater him. But then she turns around and leaves. Because she rolls like that.

Shuddering at the prospect of the upcoming social skill challenge to explain to Sakura that he became a girl who can shoot fireballs in order to protect her, he opts instead to use his Manga Protagonist Level 2 utility and runs the hell away. At school, Natsuru comforts himself by saying that Sakura didn’t seem to realize it was him. Not giving your girl a lot of credit brah.

High School As I Remember It

It turns out that school is segregated with the girls being on one side and the boys on the other, separated by a barbed wire fence, which from the look of the design actually extends into the god damn building and out the other end. Now, I’ve taken some educational psychology courses in which I have analyzed scholarly articles that talk about how academic performance has been proven to increase in the absence of the opposite sex. This leads me to conclude that this is still a cheap, poorly thought-out plot device that will be used solely for convenient shenanigans about Natsuru parading around the girl’s side of the school in his mini-skirt completely undiscovered because nobody’s ever seen or heard him there.

Natsuru goes to class and a friend of his, who has a strange, upside-down pear-shaped head, tells him that a girl has business with him. Natsuru thinks it’s Sakura but Higashida, his apparent friend, takes a moment to talk to him about how monumentuously popular Sakura is, and how he’s a retard for thinking she’d come over to the boy’s building and be swarmed by admirers, given she’s the school’s idol and most popular girl almost as popular as the school council president girl who looks a lot like the girl talking to the teddy bear before. This was all very necessary to establish at this precise moment.

The girl who wants to see him is actually Akane, except she has glasses, a headband and is acting rather meek and shy, rather than shoving a gun in his mouth and asking him if there’s a heaven for a G. All Kampfers apparently change when they transform. This is a kind of battle ritual they have to perform in order to utilize their powers. Akane goes from being moe moe to being all Suge Knight, while Natsuru gets the world’s best genderswap. I’m not yet convinced which of those is the more desirable of states. Akane explains that she stopped fighting earlier because they’re actually allies – they were the same color of bracelet. Only Kampfers with different color bracelets are the enemy.

Natsuru asks Akane to go out with him, which is quickly misinterpreted. He needs someone to help him shop for girl’s clothes since he has none but the ones that his transformation gives him. Natsuru’s desire to look fabulous in his new female body must not be denied! He tells “Akane-chan” thanks and goes away but then he’s ambushed again as Akane transforms and points her gun at his head, again. Ladies and gentlemen, our protagonist! Akane hates honorifics and she will mess you up if you use them.

Yes, thank you, I hate them too! Please excise them from all other manga, Akane!

Natsuru asks why Akane transformed – it’s typically because they sense fighting intent or an enemy Kampfer nearby. On cue, a girl with a kusarigama that looks like the student council president girl and the girl shown when the teddy bear was talking to himself, and it’s time to roll initiative!

Absurdly Short Outro

Those were the first two chapters of Kampfer in a nutshell. The rest continues to have much the same themes – exploitation of Natsuru’s female side for comedy and fanservice, Akane being far too awesome to deserve being in this manga, trendy usage of single german words, and lots and lots of battling vixens. It is ultimately a sophomoric but entertaining manga with good action, nice character designs and some cool characters. I wouldn’t recommend it to any casual anime fans who think anything with schoolgirls in it instead of bulging musclemen kicking each other’s asses is too emasculating to read. In fact I wouldn’t recommend it to anybody. But I like it. And if you don’t like it, I’m gonna pull a 187 on yo ass.

GOD DAMN STOP SENDING ME THESE I DON'T CARE

Special thanks to Ameron for the inspiration.

It’s true. I write about how I never play over tabletop and always play via the internet, how I want to play over Google Wave (and I am) and you’d think I’d be a pretty high tech GM and player. In fact, it’s all the opposite. The most technologically advanced piece of software involved in my planning, combat tracking and character generation is Mac OS X’s trusty TextEdit software. In fact, everything you see on this blog that involves mechanical things of some sort was done in either TextEdit or NeoOffice.

(Mac OS X is the productivity side of my operation. The Windows 7 partition is the Touhou games side of my operation.)

I write initiatives on TextEdit, write conditions, write all my monsters on it, write most of my characters on it. I have Mariner Write (and am currently writing a homebrew RPG system on it) but TextEdit loads faster and just lets me write. I don’t even use Calculator for numbers, I do it all in my head. And I suck at Math.

I don’t know what it is about trackers and such that I can’t become accustomed to. I can’t interact or engage with them at all. I always forget to turn them on for one. Plugging the numbers into fields and such or setting up macros feels oddly like more work than writing things down in TextEdit. Sometimes I don’t even write combat stuff down, I just keep it all in my head. But more often than not when I track initiative, modifiers and conditions it’s in a text editor.

I’ve already said that things like the character builder for 4e make me want to shove pencils into my eye sockets – though oddly enough, one piece of software I do love is the GURPS Character Sheet which is so simple, lovely and quick despite the complex game it outputs for. Whenever I want to write a 4e character, I lovingly pull up my books and browse, writing things down. Often I find something I’d never seen before – the other day I discovered the Skybound Armor  in the Adventurer’s Vault and I thought how odd it was I hadn’t seen that before and how fun it looked.

It’s still more complex than paper and pencil, but I’m a caveman compared to these high-tech DDI DMs. Though after hearing some people express that they wouldn’t play 4e without the character builder to do their characters and Familiar to track their combats, I can’t help but feel that maybe my existence in the bronze age is desirable.

Also I don’t think I would ever do math if it weren’t for RPGs, so it helps my brain a little.

Grocery shopping has served to delay, but not impede, the posting of this week’s Hymn Collection, brought to you by the letter “W”! Here’s yet another week’s round-up of my favorite 4e posts. And don’t forget to nominate your own favorite posts in this blog and others for the Open Game Table Vol. 2!

•Dice Monkey talks about Giving Monsters As Many HPs As The Plot Needs. I’m in the camp that likes to tweak the mathematics of the game. I have done so for my campaigns and it’s made monsters which are deadlier in damage, but easier to hit and with less hit points, reducing grind. But for people who don’t want to tweak the math, tweaking the combat on the fly as the plot allows is just as good a solution. In my opinion the important thing in a combat is the sense of excitement. If that sense is gone from either side of the table, it’s time to wrap things up for that scene.

•Chatty DM talks about the mechanics for his Clockwork Fantasy campaign. Given all that I’ve done for my own campaigns I find it an interesting and inspiring read, though I am not a fan of clockwork and steampunk and all that stuff. Still, Chatty is a great educator, and following his process can help you make your own campaigns just unique enough without it being just a re-skin, and without it having to be the next Spirits of Eden in terms of mechanical additions.

•Dungeon’s Master talks about the 4e Epic Tier, with lots of good advice to keep you from getting bogged down. Me personally, I don’t like the 4e epic tier. I came to this conclusion when I began writing powers for the Spirits of Eden PC options (which is when I began really getting deep into 4e and tearing it apart). I thought nothing was too ridiculous for me, but the Epic Tier just feels like the wrong kind of ridiculous. There’s dazing and stunning being thrown around so much – to challenge the PCs, your best options are monsters with action denial. I hate that.

We’ve established I’m not a fan of action denial like dazed and stun, but that’s really your best and probably only options for really putting hurt on PCs at the Epic tier. Case in point, why WOTC’s most challenging epic monsters are all about dazing and stunning and weakening fast and furiously. There’s also so much to keep track of, and the stories I’m supposed to be telling in the epic tier don’t excite me as much. It feels like the perfect storm of things not being worth the level of escalation for me. I usually plan on ending my campaigns pre-epic.

•Thieves’ Cant asks if you’ve forgotten the Forgotten Realms. Yes. In fact, it was entirely off my radar throughout its entire lifespan, up until the 4e incarnation. Because I’m pretty much a devourer of all things WOTC 4e, this new, metamorphosed incarnation of the setting was my most thorough exposure. I still don’t like it. As I often say, I have my tastes, and I cater to them myself by my own hand, since nobody would care to cater to them for me. But despite this, my relationship with FR has improved. I no longer instinctually avoid all FR games I see being started up. Now I actually look at the plots (or lack thereof) before making my decision.

I can almost assure you that this will be the most read post on my blog in the coming week. I would’ve refrained from writing it – I can more or less predict the ghastly outcome – but I had to get it out of my head.

I’m lucky to have never experienced this myself so far, because my typical group isn’t altogether heavily invested in powergaming and neither am I. But I keep seeing, time and again, what I can only consider to be horror stories brought about by certain (not all, I would hope) 4e players who have an Obsession With Optimal Capacity.

I’ve had discussions before with DMs who’ve talked about rebooting turns because their players missed something and wanted to be able to take the “optimal” move. This is rather alien to me, because if a player of mine asked me something like that, I’d probably grin and send the critter after him next. I wouldn’t essentially rewind time to let a player get his way. Remember your powers next time. Human error and perspective is as part of the tactical complexity in the game as anything else. You shouldn’t be safeguarded from messing up.

This doesn’t just manifest in play, but also during character generation. While I don’t expect anyone to make a Paladin with a high intelligence, I saw just that during a game, and I also saw players hassling the Paladin for having done so. He said it was part of his character concept, which to me was reasonable. While he consciously chose to do this, he still had a high attribute in his attack score and therefore could still perform. It wasn’t like he took an 18 Int and couldn’t hit things anymore. But the other players sneered at his sub-optimal character nonetheless. How dare he not wear Plate armor and dump Int. Paladins are MAD enough as it is without his shenanigans! We are all doomed now! Screw you Paladin player, now we all lose!

I say obsession because a desire for optimal capacity isn’t bad. After all, we don’t want to play weaklings getting trod on by the universe all day. We experience enough of that in real life as it is. A desire for optimal capacity is a healthy and normal thing.

However, where it becomes an obsession is when it starts extending beyond you. Rather than what you can do to be optimal, you begin to obsess with everything being optimal. Everyone’s characters in your group must have the optimal equipment, powers, feats and features in order to perform the most optimally in round-by-round combat situation.

If human error would ever into the picture, it is an unfair outside influence that should not reduce your Optimal Capacity – the universe should accommodate your static mechanical perfection, because your own lapses of memory or poor judgment are not a stat on your character sheet and should not influence the game or things become “unbalanced.” The DM should always accommodate the player’s obsession with picture-perfect, timely drops of optimal loot and that ever important 4e rule – “Say yes.” Otherwise everything shuts down.

Insert a little fart noise here.

I don’t think most 4e players are like this. I think most 4e players don’t give a hoot and just want to have some fun, and let the other players and the DM have their fun, and roll with it all. But when I read Wizbook (Wizard’s Community) and root around on ENWorld (though to a far less degree than in Wizbook) sometimes I wonder.

Is this a norm and I’m the goldfish among lionfishes?  Does this happen from just assuming they’ll always play competitive meatgrinder scenarios like Prince of Undeath where the seventh fight in a row will kill you if you aren’t playing the very best build out of the optimization boards? What breeds this? Am I a bad DM for wanting to throw a shoe at a player behaving this way? (It would probably be my new soft slippers though, they’re so comfy.)

I always love the idea of having NPCs that hang around with the PCs. The PCs will always have a dynamic among each other, but throwing an NPC in there can really change the situation. What’s more, if you’re low on PCs (as I often am) using an NPC companion can help you to rectify the numbers. With that in my mind, I decided to start writing a bunch of NPC companions. I also decided I might as well share them, so I’ll strip them of most of the in-depth fluff I made, give a simple, generic description and the stats. I’ll probably do these two or three at a time; average one humanoid, one monster.

Skarp, Goblin Redeemer

Injured in a failed raid, Skarp ended up collapsed in a small, isolated village. The villagers helped him back to health, much to his own surprise. Skarp realized that working with the humans had benefits that working against them would never confer. He saw the folly of his previous actions and thought that he could convince them to join the civilized races. He has since traveled far and wide trying to change the ways of his maligned race, and people’s views of them.

Agenda: Needs PC’s help on a quest.

Behavioral Traits: Optimistic, wants to change others’ point of view about goblins.

Secret: Once belonged to an evil band of goblins.

Skarp, Goblin Redeemer Level 4 Striker
Small Natural Humanoid XP -
Initiative +4; Perception +3; Low Light Vision
HP 41; Bloodied 20; Healing Surges 8
AC 19; Fortitude 17, Reflex 18, Will 17
Speed 6
[MB] Dagger (Standard; AW) @Weapon
+11 vs AC; 1d4+2 damage
[R] Thrown Dagger (Standard; AW) @Weapon
Ranged 5; +11 vs AC; 1d4+6 damage
[M] Skarp Special (Standard; AW) @Weapon
+11 vs AC; 1d4+6 damage and Skarp can shift 1 square.
[M] Low Blow (Standard; Encounter) @Weapon
+11 vs AC; 2d4+6 damage and the target is knocked prone.
[C] Peek-A-Boo (Standard; Daily) @Weapon
Close Blast 3; Each enemy Skarp can see; +11 vs AC; 2d4+6 damage and the target is blinded until the end of Skarp’s next turn.
Miss: Half damage
[S] Backflip (Move Action; Encounter)
Skarp shifts 3 squares.
[S] Goblin Tactics (Immediate Reaction; AW)
Trigger: Skarp is missed by a melee attack.
Skarp can shift 1 square.
[S] Combat Advantage
Once per round, Skarp deals 1d6 extra damage when he hits an enemy he has combat advantage against.
Alignment: Good; Languages: Common, Goblin
Skills: Stealth +13, Thievery +13, Acrobatics +11, Diplomacy +9
Str 10 (+2) Dex 18 (+6) Wis 13 (+3)
Con 14 (+4) Int 11 (+2) Cha 14 (+4)
Equipment daggers (10), adventuring kit

Doryfex, Lost Wyrmling

Born to a powerful Red Dragon, Doryfex’s nascent thoughts were already set on grandeur. Her hopes were quickly dashed – her mother was a brutal rector, exhausting her in the learning of the draconic ways from the very first moment she was born. She would learn to be the most powerful red dragon the world had ever seen – or she would die as many brothers and sisters before her had already done.

Suffering from fiery strikes, tail beatings and the supernatural fear of her mother’s presence during each and every misstep she took, Doryfex seized an opportunity during a raid on her mother’s cave and escaped into the wilderness. Badly injured in subsequent scuffles with the wildlife, Doryfex lost the ability to fly except for short bursts. But even in her weakened state, she was elated. She was free, finally free! Skirting the edges of civilization, she hunted small animals and spent her days in isolation, nursing her weakened state but savoring her freedom.

But her freedom wouldn’t last forever. By fate, she overheard passing news that her mother had survived. Men rushed into a nearby town with the charred remains of the last hunting party sent after her mother. Tearful and angry that her happy days might end, she decides to meet up with the next hunting party and hopefully aid them in the killing of her parent, so she can be free forever. She approaches them, presenting herself as a would-be rival of the local dragon (however ridiculous this might sound), to keep her true identity secret.

Agenda: Revenge.

Behavioral traits: Twitchy, fearful, nervous; childish, easily pleased.

Secret: Sought after by a powerful dragon.

Doryfex, Red Dragon Wyrmling Level 4 Controller
Medium Natural Magical Beast (dragon) XP -
Initiative +2; Perception +3; Darkvision
HP 43; Bloodied 21; Healing Surges 8
AC 17; Fortitude 18, Reflex 16, Will 19
Resist 5 Fire
Speed 6; See “Dory’s Flight” below
[MB] Bite (Standard; AW) @Fire
+8 vs AC; 1d8+5 fire damage and Doryfex pushes the target 1 square.
[R] Smoke Breath (Standard; AW) @Fire
Ranged 5; +8 vs Reflex; 1d6+5 fire damage and the target takes a -2 penalty to attack rolls until the end of Doryfex’s next turn.
[C] Dragon Breath (Standard Action; Recharges when first bloodied; Encounter) @Fire
Close Blast 5; +8 vs Reflex; 1d10+5 fire damage
Miss: Half damage
[A] Greater Dragonbreath (Standard Action; Daily) @Fire
Area Burst 1 Within 10 Squares; +8 vs Reflex; 2d6+5 fire damage and the target is dazed until the end of Doryfex’s next turn.
Miss: Half damage
[S] Dory’s Flight (Move Action; Encounter)
Doryfex flies 6 squares. She must end her movement on a stable surface or she falls.
[S] Controller Extension (Free Action; Encounter)
Doryfex can extend an effect on an enemy to end at the end of her next turn, rather than her current turn.
Unaligned; Language: Draconic
Skills: Bluff +11, Insight +10, Intimidate +9
Str 14 (+4) Dex 10 (+2) Wis 12 (+3)
Con 16 (+5) Int 11 (+2) Cha 15 (+4)

These companions are with the DMG2 guidelines in mind, not intended as “DMG1 NPCs” (there are differences). Though neither is setting specific, in the future I’ll be doing mixes – one companion setting specific, one not, in each post, as inspiration allows. That way both fans of my usual work on The Spirits of Eden setting and Nevermet Press’ villains, and people who want something more plug-and-play, can get what they want.

These first ones are just a test, I’m hoping the readers can get engaged in the direction of this column so it’ll be more useful. Tell me if what sort of style you liked – the first, generic companion NPC strictly following the companion rules and with very little fluff, or the second, more freewheeling take on it that has more fluff. What level ranges would you like to see? What creatures would you like me to do next? Just drop some comments. All suggestions will be taken into account.

The Desire is Nevermet Press’ first content cycle, cleaned up and put into a PDF with all sorts of specials. The design philosophy (or one can say, lack thereof) for this cycle was to create a central character and let numerous authors have a go at her and interpret her in different ways.The PDF is primarily geared towards 4e, but it shouldn’t be difficult to fit the content to your fantasy game of choice. In fact for D&D 3.5 it’s rather simple to just have The Desire be a 10th level Sorceress, with access to Dominate Person (a 5th level spell), Charm Person and Charm Monster (1st and 4th level spells respectively).

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So if you ever thought “man that Wyatt is such a nice guy, I wish I could buy him a beer” then know that I don’t drink, but if you want to buy me a soft drink, you can buy this book, and that will get me enough for that soft drink. And maybe some chips.